Poker face

Wide awake. Can't sleep. So you get this. 

I was on Facebook a lot (what's new) and I had gotten good at playing Texas Hold'em (I was in the millions!) Anyhow, I liked playing the tournament's because first of all,  you don't get players hoping on and off the table. Once you get a full table the game begins and no one else is allowed on. One by one players get outplayed and they are removed automatically from the table. Second of all, I'm competitive by nature, in a passive aggressive kind of way I guess. Who knew? I'm one of the sweetest persons you'll ever meet. I mean, it is online after all with total strangers. I love that you get to play with other people. Like, real life people who have to have a Facebook account to play. You could even "chat" with them in real time during the game. Become facebook friends even.

       Well, these tournaments are tables of mostly men. Of course they always want to chat me up because I have a cute profile picture. I was always cute and sweet but mostly cheeky with my replies, comments and general chat deliberately. I used my cheeky comments as my "pokerface" so to speak. Most of these men, come to find out, think that pretty woman don't know how to play poker, let alone Texas Hold'em, at least not smart and calculated. Let's face it, we are all competitive if we are playing tournaments that are 100k, 500k 1mil etc., just to play (virtual coins, that is Lol). We aren't paying to play, win or lose. You'd think top three is the goal, to break even, even. Nope, the goal is being #1. Breaking even is for the birds! Whatever that even means.

       So, I sit at a table and as the chairs fill up I look at players profile pictures and then I quickly look at their "stats". I want to know how long they've been playing, what their highest pot won is and I want to know their best hand won etc. Y'all get the idea. I want to know if I'm playing with an amateur or not, is what it boils down to. I don't think the average player looks at other player stats. It's the competitor in me. I guess I like to know who I'm playing with. The better Stats a player has the sweeter it is when you win against them. 

       Once the table is full the game starts. Everyone is trying to get the "feel" of how everyone else plays so it's usually a slow start. Although I'm a target, I'm not a threat at this point. I'm a female after all...Eyecandy. They want to keep me at the table long enough to chat with, show off to and flirt with even. The Alpha males compete with each other as a few get picked off all the while playing along side them mostly conservatively. I let myself win a couple "lucky" hands. I might even ask a question in the chat area that goes something like, "So, a Full House beats a Straight? or no?" Like I said, not a threat. Whether I fold, call or raise tells them a lot about my game play so I play it safe early on. I want to keep them guessing, keep them on their toes. Keep them wondering if i really know how to play. I'm sure a few think that I'll eventually eliminate myself with bad card playing. 

       Soon, most all these men start chatting me up. They ask me a question and hit me with a raise on the table. "Hi SweetJean, where ya from?" (raise). "How old are you?" (another raise). Trying to "read" me, trying to "confuse" the pretty girls game play so that I play a bad hand. Maybe they feel less bad if they confuse a female enough to lose a hand then just going after her with great technique. As I play along I answer any of their questions coyly and cutesy ending my comments with a "hehe" or a "lol"

They'll keep gradually raising and I'll continue to call, if I have a great hand that is. Of course I don't call right away, I wait a few seconds to make it seem like I'm thinking about this decision. As if I'm looking at my cards scratching my head wondering if I have a good enough hand. We all do this, no secrets revealed here. They finally hit me with a HUGE raise or they go ALL-IN. I can almost hear them say "Well, Sweetie, it was nice playing with you but now you have to go and let the Big Boys play" 

YES!!! YESSSS!!! Just what I was waiting for! Perfect timing. Time for me to "Tighten the Slack and Set the Hook!" (almost as easy as fishing) I'll counter your HUGE raise by doubling it or you want to go ALL-IN? Even better!! They never know what hit them until it's over and they are left at 2nd and 3rd place. 1st place sure does feel Sweet (giggle) or was that a smirk? Did they Not look at my Stats? Probably not...men.