Breast Cancer Stage 4 My Journey

I've been in bed since Saturday night with a bad stomach bug. I missed Christmas and this makes me so sad. I heard the happy jolly festivities comencing in the rest of the house as I lay moaning and groaning in a bundle in the corner room trying to sleep it off on Christmas Eve. I heard the door creak open and I half awoke from a nap. I didn't realize my son was sitting on the edge of the bed by my side in the dark. The creak from the door opening was my mother checking in on me. I heard her step in and speak to my son. She said, "no, mijo don't cry, your mommas going to be ok" I was half asleep but I still felt that tinge in my heart as it ached for him as I hate making him sad. I drifted back to sleep as he layed down next to me. Although I was asleep I was a happy momma he was laying by my side. I heard my brothers check in on me as they whispered Merry Christmas to me each at separate times. My sister came in and offered to take me to the ER as she heard me

So my oncologist and the Floor doctor hesitated a bit but made the decision to discharge me yesterday afternoon. There was some hesitation because my potassium, magnesium and phosphorus were still lower than they'd like them to be. When I got to the hospital they were reading below the average low, now they are reading in the average low. This is after a week of them pushing it through on iv directly into the medaport in my chest for a week. Having diarrhea meant that whatever they gave me would go right through me. My chemotherapy medication was stopped because that was thought to be the reason for the diarrhea. Anti-diarrhea medication was given to stop the diarrhea but my body didn't respond until after a few days. Once the diarrhea was lessened then my body was able to absorb the potassium, magnesium and phosphorus that was being administered just at a slower rate. Days passed and my labwork showed that my readings would go up and then they would take a dip, then it would

Well, I hadn't been able to eat for over a week. I had this very full feeling in my tummy. I was extremely fatigued to the point of faint or dropping to the floor with diarrhea every day all day. My mom secretly watched to make sure I had at least 4 bites of whatever they were having for dinner. I finally came to the hospital I was extremely dehydrated with kidney failure and my liver was out of whack, a small uti and belly infection just to give you a general rundown. So I was admitted. Still having diarrhea everyday all day. Trying to eat the hospital food which was pretty tasty.   Well, last night I finally threw up. My food was being collected in a nook or crany in my stomach. The fluid was coming out in the form of diarrhea but not the solids. Needless to say I immediately felt better for about an hour but then the stomach cramping started up again to where I was crying and nausea was the worst. I didn't throw up everything and what I had left made me feel horrible. I

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Pink is my favorite color, but it goes beyond pink for me. I'm stage 4 because the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes, chest, neck, liver, lung and bones with NO cure. When people think of Breast Cancer Awareness month they also think of Susan B Kolmen. People feel it in their heart to give/donate. Even though I'm happy that they raise so much money for "Early Detection" and "Spreading Awareness" only about 7% goes towards research in finding a cure. (Not sure if that's from all donations or just grants which is even less) I was heartbroken to learn this. Isn't "for the cure" their slogan? Now, obviously I can't tell them how to allocate their donations/grants but 7% doesn't seem right. Shouldn't it be more? At the least 30%. I just get so fired up because I'll always be on chemo I'll never be cancer free and I'll never be in remission because there still isn't a cure.

Today was a rough day. My back pain was at an all time high today and I decided to still go to work. Yes, my surgery was a year ago and yes, I'm at a desk job now but I've also been on chemo this whole time. That in itself halts my body from healing every three weeks for an entire week. There has also been a temporary change to my pain medication. Two more days and I'm back on my normal medication. Any person who would have had the same surgery would be so much further along in their recovery. In case some of you are new to my blog let me fill you in and catch you up. I was in a car accident November 2015 and began to have upper back and neck pain about a week after. I went to see a doctor in December who said I had whip lash. He said I would heal and the pain would gradually go away. It actually got worse and he made me feel like I was being a baby because he saw nothing on the xray which included vertebrae C1 - C5. The typical area where whip lash would show any damage.

Well, it's not the news I wanted to hear. My cancer is no longer "stable" It has progressed in my lung and lymphnodes. My run with perjeta, herceptin and taxotere has come to an end. My oncologist is trying to get Tykerb and Xeloda approved by my insurance. Once approved I will no longer take my original medication through my mediport every 3 weeks but rather my new medication In pill form two weeks on and one week off. I'm worried how my body will react to stopping the medication I've been on for just over a year and starting something completely new. Will it be a shock to my body? I'm worried of the side effects of the new medications. Especially the sores in my mouth and the hand and foot syndrome which causes my palms and bottom of my feet to dry up and crack and bleed making it difficult to walk. Of course the usual side effects of diarrhea, vomiting and fatigue are attached to these drugs. I'll face any and all issues as I'm faced with them. I g