Typical Night
Main Methodist
04/07/2016
3:50 a.m.
04/07/2016
3:50 a.m.
Awoke to pain in my back (my incision site, where my staples are holding me together to be exact) My body felt hot, my hair clammy & damp. Felt my breathing was labored but not much because of the cannula I had in my nose giving me oxygen.My legs were sweating from the leg compressions my RN John put on me before I fell asleep. Its to keep the blood circulating in my legs he said. Let me not forget to mention the neck brace I've been wearing since the day I came out of surgery was pushing up my chin tightly to where my tongue is constantly swollen and pushing down on my staples on the back of my neck. Dr. Jude said I needed to leave it on for up to 4weeks and that's what I intend on doing. Does it hurt? Yes, Do I want to loosen it? Yes, Do I need a break? Yes. Will I do any of that? NO!!!
I was waking from a dream. I vaguely remember.....I know I was smiling, carefree, young, rosy cheek kid with no care in the world playing outside as most 12 year olds did back in the 80's.
Right then my head began to place the pieces together like a giant puzzle. I'm not that carefree kid in my dream, I'm this grown woman in this hot hospital bed with cancer spread throughout my body and my pain level is rising. I lay there as it sinks in and tears begin to stream down the side of my face. I let out the saddest most mournful cry at that moment.
I pushed the button and my Nurse came rushing in with pain meds. When He saw the pain and tears in my eyes he rushed over to me and asked if I needed to sit up. He immediately scanned my bracelet and then the medication he was about to hand me and then he began to speak. He basically said it was totally normal to feel what I was feeling and that I was not alone. He sat down in the chair next to my bed and said its okay to cry, its okay to feel weak, angry, sad and alone. Just know that you are allowed to feel those emotions but also know that those emotions are felt by many daily. Then, I let the emotions take over for a moment and I still felt lonely but not alone.
#TeamSweetJean Cancer Treatment Fund
I was waking from a dream. I vaguely remember.....I know I was smiling, carefree, young, rosy cheek kid with no care in the world playing outside as most 12 year olds did back in the 80's.
Right then my head began to place the pieces together like a giant puzzle. I'm not that carefree kid in my dream, I'm this grown woman in this hot hospital bed with cancer spread throughout my body and my pain level is rising. I lay there as it sinks in and tears begin to stream down the side of my face. I let out the saddest most mournful cry at that moment.
I pushed the button and my Nurse came rushing in with pain meds. When He saw the pain and tears in my eyes he rushed over to me and asked if I needed to sit up. He immediately scanned my bracelet and then the medication he was about to hand me and then he began to speak. He basically said it was totally normal to feel what I was feeling and that I was not alone. He sat down in the chair next to my bed and said its okay to cry, its okay to feel weak, angry, sad and alone. Just know that you are allowed to feel those emotions but also know that those emotions are felt by many daily. Then, I let the emotions take over for a moment and I still felt lonely but not alone.
#TeamSweetJean Cancer Treatment Fund
Your not alone sweetie,we are all here for you. I just wish I could take the pain away. Love Ryta Reyna patient at ENT CLINIC
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so happy ho hear from you Ryta!!! You've always been so nice. Please keep me in your prayers and send me some positive mojo!!!
DeleteLove ya chickie!