The waiting game

Well, tomorrow I meet my Oncologist. Everything is still up in the air.  Not surprised considering my life has been turned upside down.  Will she suggest a full mastectomy?  Will she suggest chemo and/or radiation?  Will she order a PET Scan first before making any suggestions?  Auugghh!  I wish I could get started with treatment already. This waiting game is driving me crazy. What's really bothering me is not knowing if the cancer has spread to other organs.  I could be sitting here while it festers secretly somewhere else. Has it traveled to my lungs, liver,  heart, bones or even worse.... my brain.  I guess I'll get answers as they come.
I'm trying to stay positive I'm trying to be strong I'm trying to stay busy but when I sit here and look out into the horizon I can't help but think to much and cry.

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