8th 9th & 10th Radiation

          So after my 8th session of radiation my throat was sooooo tender, sore and irritated.  I was happy to be done with it and happy knowing I only had 2 more sessions to go.  I also knew I was starving, me and my sissy both.  I had half a burger, some chicken nuggets and a salad in front of me for lunch/dinner. It looked so yummy and smelled even yummyer (I know that's not a real word) Before picking up the burger I patted it down a bit. When I say pat, I mean squish and flatten. I knew it was to thick and I wouldn't be able to wrap my mouth around it especially with this neck brace on. You don't know how bad I wanted to take this brace off and just take a bite out of this juicy burger that I was sooooo in the mood for.  The cheese was nicely melted,  the lettuce and tomato looked ripe and fresh. The bacon, pickles, mustard and pepper topped it off nicely. I didn't want to be unlady like and tear into this burger like a cave woman (you can call me Lana *insider*) So that's why I patted it down a little. I picked it up and took a lady sized portion bite. I had taken my pain medication after radiation but I also knew my throat was still a bit sore.  This burger was made to perfection I thought as I chewed. I'm not a big burger eater but man oh man was I in the mood and this one was sheer perfection. This was gonna satisfy my craving. This was gonna hit the spot. That is until I took my first swallow....ummm, can you say pain, hurting, irritating, swollen, scraping and uh, oh yeah PAIN! I think I actually winced and bobbed my head slightly down and up again to try and help get the food down as I clutched my neckbrace. Had my neckbrace not been there I would have grabbed my throat instead which is what I really wanted to do.  I was in some pain and funny as it may seem to anyone reading this whose never had radiation on their esophagus, a bit sad that I couldn't enjoy my food. I wanted to throw in the towel.  I wanted to say, forget it and walk away from the table.  I was frustrated. I took a small sip of water and again I felt pain. The medication didn't seem to be working on my throat much.  My sissy obviously saw this and asked me if it hurt.  I gave her a sad smile and nodded yes. I took a couple deep breaths and grabbed my fork and knife.  I thought to myself, I will cut my burger into tiny pieces and eat slowly making sure to chew my food thoroughly. I finished my half a burger and ate my salad. My throat couldn't take any more.
         Mom woke me up the next morning with a hot cup of coffee.  Another night of crap sleeping. Two hours here and there. Woken up because of a painful swallow, uncomfortable position or medication alarm. I must say it was tough the first couple of sips because of my irritated throat but the hot liquid did more good than harm. Mom helped me by washing my hair in the shower.  I'm so grateful to have her in my life. Those shower/bath chairs make things so much easier too. We made it to my appointment on time and even got to speak with my Radiologist first. I told him about my throat and he said unfortunately since he's getting my spine from the back and the front some organs are in the way such as my vocal chords, esophagus and a small portion of my heart and that radiation could effect these areas with pain. All information of which I knew already.  He gave me a sample of liquid numbing medication for my throat and also wrote me a prescription for something stronger that was also a liquid.  The sample medication seemed to take the edge off but didn't take away the pain.  I was able to get down a cup of chicken noodle soup still in slight pain and discomfort for the rest of the day.
          Mom woke me up with a hot cup of tea with honey.  Same kind of typical night.  My throat was hurting it seemed worse than the day before. I was dreading going to my last session of radiation for my back. Even though it's my last, my throat just seems to be getting worse with each session. I really really really didn't want to go but of course I thought of my son and that gave me the push I needed to get dressed and go.  So, me and mom go and I put on my gown and wait to be called.  Both of us waiting patiently in the waiting room.  I have two techs, Jennifer and Jeff which have been so nice and understanding. Today, for my last visit (for now) I have Jennifer. I explain that I'm nervous and told her about my throat.  She said she was sorry that I was having a rough time and reminded me this is my last session.  She lays me back, does her thing and as she's doing her thing I keep repeating in my head "Jesus I trust in you" and I imagine the last bits of cancer in my spine being disintegrated to nothing by the radiation.  She comes in and says I can put my arms down.  She helps sit me up being sure to support my neck with her hand and says Congratulations, today is your last session and we have a certificate for you.  I explain to her that I might be seeing her again after chemo but that we're looking at 6 months or so.  I grab the certificate from the chair and notice that my name is misspelled but at this point I'm just happy to be done and walk back to the waiting room, change, gather my things and we go.  We pick up my medication on the way home and we also stop to pickup something to eat.  Get home and take my medications.  Right away I can tell this one's stronger with more numbing power.  I was actually able to eat my broccoli and cheese soup from subway without so much pain.  It was a lot more bearable. Dr. Lin said my throat could take a month to heal.  I really hope it doesn't take that long.  Especially since I will be starting chemo in about a week I'm guessing.  I see my oncologist tomorrow and find out for sure.

#TeamSweetJean